Telling Their Story: How to Write a Personal and Meaningful Eulogy
Modern Eulogies
How to write a meaningful eulogy that truly reflects the person who has died
There was a time when eulogies followed a familiar script. A few dates. A few achievements. A polite list of roles. A well meaning speech that sounded respectful but could feel distant, generic, or even slightly awkward.
You might still hear them now and then.
But today, families across the United Kingdom are choosing something more personal. More human. More memorable.
At AB Walker Funeral Directors, we often support families who want a eulogy that feels like their person, not a template. A eulogy can be sincere and warm. It can be thoughtful and honest. It can even include a little humour, when that feels right.
If you are writing a eulogy and do not know where to start, these three practical tips will help you create something meaningful.
What a eulogy is today
A modern eulogy or celebration of life is not simply a formal speech about life milestones. It is a tribute in your own words that helps everyone in the room remember the person who has died as they really were.
Many services now include more than one eulogy. Hearing different voices can be deeply comforting. It creates a fuller picture and often brings out stories the family have never heard before. Even in traditional venues, there is often more flexibility than people expect about who can speak and how.
Tip one: be yourself and describe them as their real self
Speak in your natural voice
If you are not used to public speaking, you are not alone. Nobody expects you to sound like a professional celebrant. The most moving eulogies are usually the simplest and most natural.
Use the words you would normally use. If you gesture when you speak, let yourself do that. If your style is gentle and quiet, that is equally powerful.
A helpful practical step is to type your eulogy rather than relying on handwritten notes. Emotions can catch you by surprise on the day, and having a clear typed copy makes it easier to keep your place. Practising aloud a few times can also help the words feel steadier.
Share a balanced picture
It can feel tempting to present the person as perfect. But the most memorable eulogies show someone in full colour, not just in polish.
A loved one can be kind and stubborn. Generous and particular. Gentle and outspoken. These traits often make people smile because they recognise them. A truthful, warm portrait makes listeners feel closer to the person who has died.
You can still be respectful while being real.
Tip two: tell stories, not just facts
Lists of facts are easy to forget. Stories stay with us.
A story helps people see the person. It gives the room an image, a moment, a feeling. And it reveals character without you needing to spell it out.
Think of a memory that plays like a short scene in your mind. Perhaps:
- A small habit that always made you laugh
- A phrase they always used
- A moment of kindness that still stays with you
- Something they did that was very them
Stories do not need to be dramatic. Everyday moments are often the most powerful because they are relatable.
A simple way to find stories
If you are struggling, try a quick brainstorm. Write their name in the middle of a page and add words around it, such as:
- family
- work
- hobbies
- sayings
- favourite place
- Sunday routines
- music
- food
- what they were known for
As you write, small scenes often appear. Those scenes become your stories.
You can also look at the objects they surrounded themselves with. A well used toolbox, a carefully packed handbag, a collection of cookbooks, a garden shed full of projects, a favourite chair. These details say something about how they lived and what mattered to them. They can spark stories you had forgotten.
Tip three: include lightness when it fits
A funeral can be deeply sad, but it can also be full of love. For many families, a little humour is not disrespectful. It is healing.
If the person who has died was funny, playful, cheeky, or known for their one liners, it can be comforting to include that. Laughter often releases tension and helps people breathe again.
Ways to include gentle humour:
Share a funny story
Choose something that will make people smile without embarrassing anyone. Keep it warm and inclusive.
Use a line they would have loved
A familiar saying, a catchphrase, or even a short quote can bring them into the room again.
Bring a simple prop or photo
Sometimes a single object tells a whole story. A hat they always wore. A well travelled passport. A favourite apron. A photograph of them doing what they loved.
A small, thoughtful detail can make the tribute feel personal instantly.
A simple structure you can follow
If you want a straightforward outline, try this:
- Who you are and your relationship to them
- A short description of who they were in everyday life
- Two or three stories that show their character
- What they meant to you and others
- A closing message of thanks, love, or farewell
Keep it simple. The goal is connection, not perfection.
A final reassurance
No one can write the eulogy you can. Your voice, your memories, and your perspective are unique. If you speak with honesty and care, it will be enough.
If you would like support with planning a funeral service, choosing readings, or preparing a eulogy, AB Walker Funeral Directors are here to help.
Some further guidance can be found here.
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Email or call us with your questions, queries and requirements. For urgent assistance, call us on 0118 957 3650 24 hours a day, seven days a week.