When someone says they want “no fuss” after they die, they are often trying to make things easier for the people they love. They may want to reduce cost, avoid pressure on family members, or keep arrangements simple. But as Richard Tricker and Dorothee Stoffels discovered, it is important to understand exactly what those choices mean in practice.
Richard, aged 57, and his wife Dorothee live in Eastbourne. Richard is a house husband, mainly looking after their children, while Dorothee works in organisational development, executive coaching and lectures at a business school in Hertfordshire. She is also end of life doula trained, and strongly believes that saying goodbye and grieving properly are important parts of life after loss.
Richard’s father, William “Bill” Tricker, died at home in Taunton on 13/03/2026. He was 90, in good health, living happily alone, and his death was unexpected.
A decision made with good intentions
Around 2018 or 2019, Bill arranged direct cremation plans for himself and his wife through an online provider. The cost was approximately £1,500 each. Bill made the decision himself because he wanted “no fuss” and did not want to “burden” Richard and Dorothee with organising funerals.
Richard and Dorothee believe it would not have occurred to Bill that this could mean they would be unable to see his body after death. With Richard’s brother having lived in Asia for 25 years, Richard and Dorothee were effectively Bill’s closest next of kin.
When Bill’s wife died from Covid during the pandemic, the circumstances were very different. She spent her final 11 days in a hospice, with Richard at her bedside every day. He had time to say goodbye and begin grieving before she died. In that instance, there were no issues with her subsequently having an unattended direct cremation.
Bill’s death felt very different. It was sudden, and Richard and Dorothee could not get to his home in Taunton immediately from Eastbourne. In the meantime, the local coroner arranged for a local funeral director to take Bill’s body to a hospital mortuary.
Wanting the chance to see Bill
Richard and Dorothee wanted to see Bill before he was cremated. For them, this was an important part of saying goodbye.
However, they were told there was no viewing facility at the hospital. They were also told by the online direct cremation provider that once Bill had been collected, they would not be able to view his body. Richard and Dorothee feared the provider would “just turn up and whisk the body away”.
They found the experience deeply upsetting. To them, the process felt unhelpful and transactional, and they were concerned that Bill was being treated more like a commodity than a person.
Finding a more personal way forward
Richard and Dorothee took advice from a local funeral director they knew. They decided to cancel the online direct cremation contract, which cost them a £350 administration fee, and instead arranged a direct cremation for Bill through a local funeral director.
This meant they could still honour Bill’s wish for a simple direct cremation, but in a way that gave the family the personal goodbye they needed.
The funeral director dressed Bill and gave Richard and Dorothee the opportunity to see him. They were also able to place a bottle of beer on the coffin, because Bill enjoyed a drink, along with a photograph of his wife looking glamorous in the 1970s.
Richard and Dorothee were able to be at the crematorium to see the coffin arrive and say their goodbyes. They described the whole process with the funeral director as “thoroughly respectful”. It also cost £1,300, which was less than the original online plan.
Richard and Dorothee’s story shows that direct cremation does not have to mean removing all personal choice or emotional connection. For some families, a simple cremation may be exactly the right option. But it is important to understand what is included, what is not included, and whether loved ones will have the chance to say goodbye.
Speaking to a local, independent funeral director can help families explore their options clearly and compassionately. It can also help ensure that decisions made with good intentions do not leave those left behind with unanswered questions or regret.
At AB Walker, we believe every person deserves to be cared for with dignity, and every family deserves the guidance they need to make informed choices. Whether a family chooses a traditional funeral, a direct cremation or something more personal, the right support can make all the difference. There is also a wealth of information on the Handled With Care website.
